Pajolo Cam

I’ve been yearning and seeking to be a part of a Filipino community living in the US. I’ve been eyeing some Filipino political organizations in my city and have talked to a few organizers! One of the conversations I had was about my family’s history and what they do for a living. I realized that I need to have more conversations with my parents about their lives and experiences.

I’ve been learning Tagalog with my mom recently, so I hope that conversations between us become easier as time goes on. I want to know about her life in the US and also in the Philippines, her perspective throughout it all! I’m realizing how important it is to gather this information and to preserve it for future generations.

I have lived in Seattle for basically all of my life. I was born in the Philippines, but my mom and I moved here when I was 1 to meet my dad. They didn’t teach me Tagalog or their native languages for whatever reason. To Americanize me and whatnot. Sometimes they tell me stories from their childhood in the Philippines. The most connected I felt to Filipino culture was by eating the meals my parents would cook and the parties that we would have with our extended family living in Seattle. I would like to know more, though.

We’re going to visit the Philippines in January. My goal is to be somewhat fluent in Tagalog by then. I am an American to my cousins there, which used to be something I was ashamed of–that I’m not Filipino enough. I don’t think that way anymore. So much of my identity is shaped by living in the US. I’ve made so many great connections living in Seattle; different perspectives, cultures, identities. I feel so lucky to have crossed paths with a lot of my friends because living in America is the only way we would have met. We bond over the similarities of our differences being a part of a diaspora. I am Filipino even though I can barely speak the language. I come from a Filipino family, my bloodline didn’t disappear living away from the motherland, and I think I have interesting perspectives to offer being Filipino-American.

When I visit the Philippines, I want to talk and have fun with my cousins there. I’m going to stutter and mess up Tagalog words like a toddler, but at least I’ll be more connected than I was before. My cousins don’t know what it’s like to live in the US, and I can be the voice for that. There’s no such thing as not being Filipino enough because I just simply am–I will never be white no matter how much I assimilate. My brown skin, curly hair, strong calves, round belly, joyful laugh, my intuition, and my lived experiences. These are my ancestors living through me in a foreign environment! They can NEVER be erased!!!