Pajolo Cam

shadows and small (big) sounds

scare me still

footsteps in my vicinity

i freeze, rapid mind

rabbit-hearted

learned silence, forced observation

masking each jump with the excuse

of too much coffee,

stress about the house,

and whatnot.

this line of thinking

carries into my relationships, too

i’ve an aversion to sleeping

when there’s a pending rationalization

waiting for me in a dream

i cannot risk facing the hurt

(maybe)

it’s hard being hopeful

and realistic

i know i’ll never befriend the future

i don’t know it like i know you now

so

for as long as you’ll let me

i’ll find infinite ways to love you

look for what words, sounds, and visuals

encapsulate you best

i enjoy your company and how

brightly the world shines within it; perhaps

i should let go of worrying and let myself

be happy — fall endlessly while i can

it’s beautiful, the fall

into winter

i want to fully understand you

away from pencil and page

memorizing your essence with just my eyes

murmuring my musings into the air

hoping to remember you by trail of sound

or at least have it come back to life in

the next person who breathes it in