Pajolo Cam

february.and.1/3.of.march.2026

THIS WRETCHED MERCURY RETROGRADE. I WASN’T ABLE TO POST TO MY WEBSITE FOR SOME REASON!!! IT WAS STUCK ON AN ETERNAL LOADING SCREEN… I’m back!!!

Lists of things I got up to in February and some of March:

Media

Movies

  • “What Ravens Do” directed by Vance Crofoot
    • ★★★★★
    • A wonderfully enlightening documentary about ravens! I didn’t expect the emotional rollercoaster this would take me on. It’s free on YouTube!
  • “Paris is Burning” directed by Jennie Livingston
    • ★★★★☆
    • I’d been meaning to watch this forever. I’m happy that I finally got around to it! My friend recommended it to me after I read a book called “My Government Means to Kill Me” by Rasheed Newson, taking place in New York City in the 80s as well.
    • I learned a LOT about ball culture from this movie and felt so much joy watching gay and trans people in the past living their authentic queer lives.
    • Another novel that I love dearly, which also takes place in New York in late 20th century, follows a lesbian perspective called “Stone Butch Blues” by Leslie Feinberg. I feel so grateful for all of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans lives that existed before mine – to be able to hold my lover’s hand as freely as I want to is a privilege that I relish for all those that came before me.

Shows

  • “Kotaro Lives Alone”
    • My partner and I started watching this anime sometime last year and finished it in February. It’s so cute and soooo sad… I am inspired by Kotaro’s optimism despite the neglect and trauma he’s faced. Life is all about perspective, empathy, and connection.
    • I adore the Found Family trope, it’s healing watching Kotaro find adults in his life that truly care about him.
  • “The Haunting of Bly Manor”
    • This show was sooo fucking boring! It suffers from the Netflix Original syndrome of dragging out a story as much as possible. It’s 80% monologue and backstory, building up lore that you couldn’t give a shit about after watching 30 minutes of explanation instead of action.
    • It does a great job of holding the viewers HOSTAGE by sprinkling in curious happenings. I recommend watching this on 2x speed.
    • THERE’S LESBIANS IN THIS ONE THOUGH HEYYYYY

Books

  • “My Government Means to Kill Me” by Rasheed Newson
    • WHAT A BOOK! Newson’s experience as a screenwriter really shines through in this novel. It’s thrilling, engaging, and heartfelt. I COULD NOT put this book down! HUGE recommend!
  • “The Purple Crayon” by Crockett Johnson
    • This book is in my partner’s library along with the first one on this list!
    • I like the porcupine:
  • “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
    • Such a haunting read. I need to read it again, I read it too fast the first time! The main character’s escalating pain and desperation being confined to this horrid room with yellow wallpaper is vivid. In her lines of thinking, I can find myself sprinkled throughout the story: “I cry at nothing, and cry most of the time.” It’s a beautiful piece in the conversation surrounding “female hysteria” and depression.
    • Media that this short story reminds me of:
    • (song) “Trapped in This Room” by Lucy Yeghiazaryan and Vanisha Gould
    • (album) the album cover and themes of “Nothing’s About to Happen to Me” by Mitski
    • (movie) the final act of “Poor Things” where Bella’s husband from her past life minimized her depression and suicide.
  • “I Cried to Dream Again: Trafficking, Murder, and Deliverance” by Sara Kruzan and Cori Thomas
    • Could you tell that memoirs are one of my favorite genres? This one follows the life of Sara Kruzan, her childhood of abuse that spurred a tragic series of events leading to sex trafficking. The book starts with her murdering the man responsible for her being trafficked.

Albums on repeat

  • “Moment to Moment” by Roy Hargrove
    • favorite song: “You Go To My Head”
  • “In Her Words” by Lucy Yeghiazaryan and Vanisha Gould
    • favorite song: “Nobody’s Heart (Belongs to Me)”
  • “Ella & Friends” by Ella Fitzgerald
    • favorite song: “Would You Like To Take A Walk (feat. Louis Armstrong)”
  • “Nothing’s About to Happen to Me” by Mitski
    • favorite song: “Cats”

Notable YouTube Videos

Projects

Poetry & Music

I submitted more of my poetry to different journals in February. I hope I hear back from at least ONE of them later this year.

I found out that the trumpet that I have is WILDLY out of tune. Need to get a new one…

I haven’t been practicing guitar very much either. Ehhhhh…. it’s been a whirlwind of a month. I did write a few (boring) songs! Good to stay in that practice.

Website & Writing

Mercury Retrograde got me… I didn’t post at all during February! I’ve been writing seldomly in my journals. I’ve been doing more LIVING and READING. My duties as a writer!

Other Hobbies

I didn’t care much about doing hair this month. I quit both of my salon jobs. It isn’t for me, but I’m glad I gave it a shot! I’ll be focusing more on wigs in the future.

I figured out how to use a digital camera! I have a Nikon Coolpix P500. I learned about shutter speeds, aperture, ISO, and exposure. I am very much a beginner, but I love to take pictures! I love studying the world around me, all the cool things I can do with a camera. One of my most beloved pastimes is admiring the sky and enjoying mundane life. With a camera, I can do just that :)

I want to take breakdancing classes.

Life events

  • I moved back into my parent’s house the first week of February
  • Quit my goals of working in a salon. Not for me!
  • Found a job on Craigslist to avoid being unemployed for too long
  • Got hired back at my stable job! Hooray!
  • I GOT HEALTH INSURANCE!!!
  • Went to my first doctor’s appointment in March regarding HRT
  • Quit that temporary job… now I just have two part-time jobs!

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